


White Castle Runs Can Mean A Lot

by roundupthefriendsyougot (queerahsoka)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, M/M, Sibling Relationship, i guess?, i just love mandy okay, mandy character study type thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerahsoka/pseuds/roundupthefriendsyougot
Summary: Mandy doesn't know the whole story about what went down with her brother and her best friend, but she understands the chaos that follows her family wherever they go.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mandy Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich & Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	White Castle Runs Can Mean A Lot

**Author's Note:**

> just some mandy thoughts. 
> 
> this is just how I think mandy could've seen the situation. there's some mickey-bashing but it's just bc she loves ian and doesn't know the full story. she cares about mick though 💚

Mandy felt sick after she heard it. Her whole world tilted on its axis. She'd never felt a shift like this before.  


She'd started the day thinking more about Karen Jackson than her brother's impending marriage. Something about the whole situation seemed nice to her, at least in the way that Mickey seemed to be getting along with their dad and he was at least trying to step up and do the right thing. It was still a mistake, obviously, but she would enjoy the relative peace in her family for however brief it would last.  


But then Ian had said what he'd said and everything spun backwards. It was the moment in a mystery novel when you finally find out who the killer is and all the pieces click into place, rewriting the story you thought you understood. But in this case the story was her brother.  


_ "No, I'm sorry, I mean the guy you've been fucking," _

Despite being drunk and  _ already _ pissed the fuck off about the whole situation with Lip, her brain had started doing the math the second she'd heard him. Mickey. Gay. Mickey was gay and he and Ian were fucking.

There had always been something weird about Mickey. Some  _ way  _ that he didn't quite fit into his environment, despite what he'd have you believe. Something about him was different and more worldly than their other brothers. It made sense now. He was someone with a secret. A secret he'd had to hold onto for who knows how long? Mandy and Ian had talked about this a few times. Ian had known what he was when he was nine or ten years old. Had Mickey been harboring this secret for that long?  


Mandy felt sick, and then she was. She threw up all the alcohol she'd drank all night in the bathroom with the party going on right outside. The linoleum was cold on her knees but it was oddly comforting. She needed the sensation to distract from the riot of anxiety tearing through her. She couldn't even begin to process what was happening now. What had originally seemed like her brother's attempt at stepping up now took on a darker, more sinister tone. She couldn't process it, so she didn't. After her stomach calmed, she drank some more, and she didn't think about Ian and her brother anymore. 

  
  


It was days later when Ian came knocking. She made small talk and offered to get him high. She didn't know exactly how to approach him now. Ian was still her best friend and nothing about him had actually changed, really, but she now saw a broader picture of her life, and she didn't like it. Ian was in the center of that picture. He'd been having  _ sex  _ with her  _ brother. _ Her unwashed, bloody-knuckled, shit-for-brains brother. He had said the word  _ love. _

She caught the end of the conversation when she cracked her bedroom door back open, nitrous in hand, and all plausible deniability went out the window. So it was true. It was true and oh god, how long had it been true? Ian had been so goddamn  _ torn up _ at the wedding. He didn't sound torn up now. There was a finality in his words. A calmness, but not in a good way. It hurt her, knowing Ian hurt, knowing Mickey was hurting him.  


She knew Mickey, though, this revelation didn't change that. She could see Mickey's facade, that same one he always wore, the one that told the world he was normal and he didn't care about anything. Sure, he was a shithead who didn't know anything, but Mandy knew that her brother wouldn't have risked it all if he didn't give a fuck. If he didn't actually like Ian, in some way. Right now he was talking to Ian like he was a cheap whore, and she knew it was part of his mask. She knew it and then she heard it break, heard her brother's voice go raw, and Ian's go back to that eerie calmness. Almost challenging, daring Mickey to do something unexpected, the strangeness of this new Ian and the things he'd said, the plans he was making, stabbing her in the heart. Her best friend was hurt and he was leaving and it's was Mickey's fault.  


She told him she'd meet him outside. Mickey didn't know she knew. And she'd planned to leave it alone. It was over with, right? He'd married Svetlana and Ian was leaving. But before the chapter ended she had to get a word in. Show Mickey that she  _ knew _ , and the only part of it that pissed her off was how he couldn't even take down his facade for Ian. Ian, who  _ loved _ him.  


Her brother looked like he was about to cry. "The fuck do you want?"

"Really? That's all you're going to say to him?"  


Mickey stilled. Turned. He was white as a ghost and she spat, "you're a fucking pussy," before leaving, heading out the front door and around to the back of the house. She could have been nicer. More eloquent. More understanding. But when had she even been those things?  


Ian was behind the house waiting for her, sitting on a stack of old tires and smoking a cigarette. That same look settled over his face, like he had it all figured out. She wanted to be happy for him, but she couldn't be. Not when the reason for his resolve was heartache. There could never be happiness here, not for him, and because of that he was leaving. Everyone was leaving.  


She sat across from him on an overturned milk crate and filled a balloon with nitrous, taking the first hit and passing it to Ian. When they'd exhaled and caught their breath and stillness came over them Mandy rolled some gravel beneath her shoe and asked, "were you ever going to tell me?"  


Ian shrugged and dragged on his cigarette, "wasn't my secret to tell,"  


"you know he would've never told me himself."  


"I wanted to tell you," Ian looked up and met her eyes, "a lot. But, I don't know, Mick didn't want me to."

Mandy nodded, "so, army, huh?"  


"You heard that?"

"Yeah."  


Ian sighed and ran fingers over his short hair nonchalantly. "I'm done with all this shit here. It's time to go, find somewhere new. I need...I don't know, fuck, a fresh start."  


"Makes sense I guess. Mickey can have that effect on people."  


Ian was silent for a minute. "Don't be too hard on him. He's an asshole, but I think he's just really afraid of your dad."  


Mandy frowned, "what's that supposed to mean?"

Ian waved a dismissive hand, "nothing, never mind. Again, not my secret to tell."  


Mandy needed to know. Mandy didn't want to know. "So when do you leave."  


"Now. Tomorrow. Soon," Ian took a puff of his cigarette, "I promise I'll text you. Send postcards and shit."  


Mandy allowed herself a smile, "you better. And you better kill the rest of these whippits with me before you leave."  


"No problem." 

  
  


Mandy watched as he left an hour later, heading away down the alley. She didn't know if she'd see him again. Maybe that was a good thing. Ian was too good for all this shit. This shit the enveloped her whole life, Mickey's whole life, and she was sorry that he was wrapped up in it. Wrapped up in him, wrapped up in her. Her anger at Mickey faded with that thought. It was hardly even their faults that they infected the lives of the people they were around. It was just the cards they were dealt. The Milkovich bad luck.  


She went back into the house and found Mickey where she'd left him, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette down to the filter. He looked wrecked. If she didn't know any better, she'd guess that he was hungover or something. He turned around at the sound of her footsteps and she stood in the doorway, waiting for his inevitable reaction.  


"You're still fuckin' here?" he crushed his beer can and threw it, "the fuck are you lookin' at?"  


She didn't embarrass him by talking about feelings or saying she was sorry. They weren't that kind of siblings. Instead she said, "just wanted to know if you wanted to ride over to White Castle. Beats sitting here getting wasted by yourself all day,"

Mickey scrubbed a hand down his face and for a second, just a flicker, she saw that facade waiver. He nodded. Sad. Maybe even surprised, a little, that she was offering. He knew. He knew this was an olive branch. He knew she gave a fuck and that she knew his secret and she didn't care about that and would keep it for him. "I'm bringing these, though," he said, holding up half a six pack for her to see. Mandy gave him half a smile and turned away, headed for the front door.  


That was all she could do. He wasn't going to spill his heart to her, and she wasn't going to ask him to. Their life was harsh, and almost no one understood it, but she did. She understood growing up as Terry's kid and being beat on and being so fucked up in the head that you hurt everyone you gave a fuck about without even trying to. She had no solution, no comfort to give, but she could at least be by his side. She could at least be there when he was all alone. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
